Rough Day

Today is better than yesterday. I got a good night's sleep and I feel like I am actually applying myself more than before in helping around the house. V caught me off guard yesterday morning when she said that I wasn't helping enough. In a way I believe she was right but again I feel like I am trying to consume a whole lot on what she wants me to do. Now I think I have got it.

I am pulling together all the strength I have to work my little butt off. All I can do is the best I can. Wish me luck!

I am very lucky to have the friends I have, if I didn't I don't know how I could survive here. As my sister said last night "if you leave or give up, than you won't be happy." Exactly! I am not one that gives up or comes crawling back to normality. I constantly like to be challenged and if it is doing things I don't normally do like folding laundry (doing it well) or dusting (yeah I don't do that at home) or keeping my room tidy and making my bed (that NEVER happens at home, right Mom?). In order to show myself and prove to myself "I can do this", then in my mind there is nothing I CAN'T do.

As my Dad used to say to me in college, "Katie, you will always prevail overall."

I constantly say that to myself to build the confidence I need to accommodate living with a family that is not my own. Thus the challenge continues....

Almost done....perhaps not...

Well...I almost have all the right paperwork for the good ole consulate, I mean Italia. My favorite place on earth. I am waiting for my Dad to get our certificates out of the safety deposit box, and I wrote to my Nana's home town to see if they can send me a similiar letter with proof she was born in Montefiorino just like Grandpa. Good news there.

As for my book, well, I am still technically working on it. Some have asked me to post a portion of it on my blog but alas, I feel it still needs more work. From the help my British amica, Giovanna. She has been proofreading for me and tells me I need to work on it just a bit more. (katie types in a british accent) :-)

I do want to start writing again. About my adventures going on at this moment, citizenship, finding a family in conjunction with being an au pair, and finally finding myself. I still feel there is a lot more to who I am. I suppose this past year being back in my hometown, in my childhood bedroom, in my parents house, amongst my siblings, and old photos, I must be ready to venture off again. Being around this safe environment of "Nana's house, being home at a decent time, not drinking heavily at the bars with friends, staying home on a friday AND saturday night to watch reruns of Law and Order:SVU with mom, blogging my way thru the weekend" seems to be leading me somewhere that encompasses me being in an unfamilar place. So I am able to challenge myself even farther than before. Why not huh? I think the things that are the most worthwhile is the things we are most afraid of. (isn't that a line in a movie?) So like I posted a few weeks before about Dr. John Poling, he once said to me:

"The royal road to achieving genuine satisfaction in life is going the bloodly hard way."

Words to live by.